So, I wanted to play Mario.
Yup.
Mario.
So, I went to a garage sale and picked it up.
I asked the owner how much it would cost.
He said, "NO, NO, NO! PLEASE TAKE IT FOR FREE!"
I was like, "Well, shit. Okay."
I went Home and put it into my NES.
But when I put it on, I heard the Mario theme song in reverse..
THIS WAS CREEPY, I thought to myself.
And when I started, I jumped on a Goomba.
I heard bones crackling, and guts came out of him.
And, I was all like, "Oh, no. Guts."
Guts are scary.
I was depressed, but kept going.
For no reason.
There was no viable answer to why the game was acting like this.
'Probably just a glitch.
So, I went to the flag pole, but when I jumped for it, Mario was impaled.
And sliding down the pole while the victory music played in reverse.
It was distorted.
Then Mario choked and coughed blood and died.
And I was like, "Oh, no. What have I done?"
In a state of depression and what my Doctors call Retardation, I went into the bathroom with the gun I kept on the counter.
And shot myself in the head.
And I am typing this as a ghost.
True story.
The end.